6 Unique Tips to Help You Move Forward After a Long Divorce Process Danny Boice
I am Trustify CEO, Danny Boice. I have been through the worst of divorce personally and I have assisted thousands upon thousands of Trustify customers going through their own divorces.
Not everyone gets a fairy tale story. Not everyone even gets a fair story. A messy divorce is probably the last thing that most expect. It’s one of those events that leaves a dent in your life — even when it was wished for. Moving on after a divorce can also be challenging, in addition to being emotionally and physically exhausting. So what happens following the aftermath?
1. Know Thyself
The longer we are in a relationship, the harder it is to ‘divide’ ourselves from our partner. We find that our ‘self’ has become ‘we.’ Our entire identity has fused with our significant other hence we forget who we are in the process. When the relationship goes sour, you may remember the things you used to love doing alone. You even forget what your good qualities are and made his (or her) qualities yours.
Think about it, when you were five years old, did you really think that having a boyfriend, getting married, and settling down is all the best thing life has to offer? This is something worth pondering.
2. A House Divided Is Hardest
Dividing assets can be messy if you do things on your own. If both of you have agreed to take on the divorce, coming up with an agreement before submitting the papers can lessen the ‘frustration.’ However, if you don’t come to an agreement, hiring a professional to mediate for you both would be better.
3. Know Your Purpose
While this may be the cliché you usually hear when a life-changing event happens, take this opportunity to learn about your purpose. Revisit some goals you may have that you’ve been wanting to accomplish but can’t because family life gets in the way. This is an excellent time to step back, reflect, and do something that will genuinely make you feel fulfilled.
4. Create Victories
Life may suddenly come crashing down. Just like the season, know that this too shall pass. Another season is yet to unfold, but you have to be patient and do what you can with what you have now. Creating victories could mean starting that dream business.
If you’re keen to pursue that dream, looking into credible personal loans online for starting a business might be the right place to start. Things can get overwhelming with the divorce process in the way, but it should not stop you from reaching your goals. Create goals that you can achieve for a certain period. Keep it as simple (and achievable) as possible to keep the momentum going.
5. Learn To Celebrate
While divorce is not something to be happy about (though it may provide some relief for some), it doesn’t mean that the world ends with it. It’s natural to feel sorry about your situation, but the key is not to dwell in there.
The stress of work, family life, and now divorce can dampen your spirit. But choose to see the good things about this phase. Every season has its beauty. Remember that the grass is greener where you water it.
6. Get Used To A New Life
A divorce could change some routines that you’re used to following. It could be that you’re used to having your partner take out the trash or dropping the kids to school. When this pattern is no longer viable, it’s time to move forward and create new ones. This setback shouldn’t be a reason to stop creating meaningful memories with people who stood by you through these difficult times. Trying to be strong can only do so much. Surround yourself with people who will be there for you throughout the divorce.
Be responsible for your happiness. You will need to face life again tomorrow, but the important thing is to show up even if you don’t feel like it. Choose to live life fully by following a healthy diet and proper exercise. You only have one body so you might as well love it as you like yourself.